The Importance of Being Kind

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We should demonstrate kindness. But what does it mean to be kind?

I often find myself asking that question regularly. I believe that kindness is the most important value that a person can have, and I feel that many of us are too focused on 'who deserves kindness' as well as the outcome of their actions; this includes myself sometimes.

We often find ourselves not wanting to associate with certain types of people. For me, I don't enjoy associating with people who consistently lie because it impedes on the trust of our relationship. Harry Frankfurt, an American Philosopher well known for his teachings at Princeton, wrote a book titled, On Bullshit. In his chapter, On Truth, Lies, and Bullshit, he writes that "lies are designed to damage our grasp of reality. So they are intended, in a very real way, to make us crazy." It makes sense... we don't want to be around people who bring us down or make us crazy, but rather we want to be around people who will uplift us, and that's totally OK; however, that doesn't mean that we can't be kind to everyone. 

Here's the truth: You should demonstrate the same amount of kindness to your enemies as you would your best friends. Why? - Well, there are many answers, but the main reason is that being kind helps morally and spiritually uplift people.

Picture of Michael Kent and Tiffany Whittier

There's this beautiful story of an unlikely friendship between an African American parole officer and former neo-Nazi/white supremacist. The parole officer, Tiffany Whittier, simply gave Michael Kent a chance, and they ironically became friends. Ultimately, Michael Kent's friendship with Tiffany Whittier helped him leave his life of hate behind him. Stories like this make me believe why it's so important to be kind to everyone.

Now, lets be honest with ourselves... We've all bullshitted, lied, and strayed away form the truth at some point in our lives. Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth in certain situations; however, when we don't tell the truth, we are impacting others in ways we cannot imagine. Going back to Frankfurt, I feel what he's trying to get at is - though bullshit is unavoidable, we should strive to live in an environment of truth and honesty. There is no such thing as a utopia revolving around truth, but that doesn't mean we have to live in a dystopia revolving around bullshit.

Now, even when we are kind, many of us feel the need to receive praise for our actions. Cary West, a carpenter, writer, and blogger, wrote an article on how kindness can change the world. He says to "focus on the act of giving, rather than the results of your actions. Detach from outcome, and you'll be free to make a difference in ways you never imagined."

Little acts of kindness go a long way. Things like:

1. Smiling at others

2. Giving compliments

3. Even just saying "hi."

All of these things can really have a positive impact on someones day.

One of Frankfurt's main points is to relay how important the truth is, but sometimes the truth is harsh. Nonetheless, it is still important to be truthful, and at the same time it's important to be kind about it. 

For example: I strongly dislike seafood. If my friends asked me to go out to lunch with them to a seafood restaurant, I wouldn't say to them, "Seafood is disgusting, no thanks." Instead, I would say something like, "Thanks so much for offering! Unfortunately, I am not a fan of seafood, but you guys go ahead and have a fun time!"

Moving forward in our lives, lets strive to be kind to everyone. Lets not reject people for who they are, but rather uplift them with love and kindness. Lets be more generous, more courageous, and more truthful. Lets stop the bullshit, and lets start the spread of ideas, information, and happiness.